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Martin Kelner
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Screen Break
I can't believe he gets paid for writing this sh*t
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "snuffling round the bottom of the barrel" Kelner on Feb 22, 2010 - 2:05:56 PM
This is something I wrote in the Screen Break column in the winter of 2008/2009, when it appears I could get away with any old bollocks. Obviously, it's all changed now, and Screen Break on a Monday is an informed and carefully reasoned commentary on the ever-changing world of broadcast sport...
Be warned, by the way, I am scouring old SBs to see if there is anything I can use in a book I am writing about the history of sport on TV.
How sad; plagiarising your bloody self...Now read on. more - >
A smacked bottom and a plate of Bourbon biscuits - just the job for Max Mosley
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Pass the fig rolls and the gimp mask" Kelner on Jul 17, 2008 - 7:16:55 PM
After an evening of Teutonic-flavoured sado-masochism, the boss of Formula One and his lady friends liked nothing better than to settle down with a cup of Earl Grey and a nice selection of biscuits... more - >
Bruno - Not bonkers, but unhinged enough to do panto in Saffron Walden!
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "horizontal heavyweight" Kelner on Jun 3, 2008 - 10:25:56 PM
Here's a thing I did for The Guardian about a Frank Bruno documentary on the telly. Not madly topical, but you don't hear much about Bruno these days, and there are one or two lines that might evince a muffled titter in these hard times.
Tuck in! more - >
Ken Bates, meat pies, and Channel M - the eyes and ears of Manchester
Screen Break
Posted by on Aug 6, 2007 - 11:10:26 AM
Channel M, the cheerfully ramshackle TV station for Manchester, looks back at the history of Oldham Athletic, including Ken Bates - the Early Years.... more - >
George Forman, shameless huckster - not that I would say it to his face
Screen Break
Posted by Martin Kelner on Nov 26, 2006 - 4:55:00 PM
As the reluctant owner of a George Forman grill - I thought I was getting the George Formby grill that says "turned out nice again" when your steak is done - Kelner puts a couple of sausages on the Frank Bruno grill (it just lies around on the floor looking vaguely bonkers) and admires Forman's sales technique. more - >
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| Screen Break |
| | I can't believe he gets paid for writing this sh*t |
| | A smacked bottom and a plate of Bourbon biscuits - just the job for Max Mosley |
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| Martin Writes.. |
| | COMEDY / Holiday on dry ice: Martin Kelner on Billy Connolly |
| | The late great Humphrey Lyttleton |
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