Martin Kelner is a journalist, author, and radio presenter, born in Prestwich, Manchester, and educated at Stand Grammar School, Whitefield, the alma mater of Clive of India, although he attended at a different time.
A spectacularly unsuccessful university career followed, studying Arts and Social Studies at Strathclyde University in Glasgow. Martin dropped out, and started work as a reporter on the Western Daily Press in Bristol and for the Oxford Mail. He then joined the Central Office of Information, for whom he worked in Lambeth, South London, and in Birmingham.
He moved to Radio Hallam in Sheffield to begin his glittering career in radio, reading the breakfast show news in late 1976.
There was a brief spell at London's LBC and Manchester's Piccadilly Radio, before Kelner moved to Leeds in 1981 and the fledgling Radio Aire.
He felt obliged to leave Radio Aire in late '82, what with finding his possessions packed into a black bin bag and that, and worked for Yorkshire TV for a time on a programme called Calendar It's The Weekend.
He was also a co-presenter on a show called Living It Up, which only failed to make the list of the worst TV shows ever because almost nobody saw the wretched thing.
Other television excursions for Kelner include Brainwave, a daytime quiz show, Pick Of The Week, an ITV show that went out at about 3.30 in the morning when the white dot was not available, and various clip shows.
Kelner joined the BBC around 1986, presenting his own Saturday night show on Radio Two, various stand-ins across the network, and later his own Saturday afternoon show on Radio Two.
Around the same time he was presenting a local radio late night show across various stations, on which he first gave airtime to Caroline Aherne. She was the Mrs Merton character on his radio show ad-libbing conversations with Martin for around eight years. He also introduced Caroline into network broadcasting on Radio Two and the original Radio Five.
Martin left Radio Two in the mid-'90s because of artistic differences with the network. He felt he should still be doing the Saturday afternoon show, whereas they thought Judi Spiers should be doing it.
He returned to Manchester to present the breakfast show on Jazz FM 100.4, where he introduced another great comic talent to the public in the shape of Jake Yapp's Dora Dale, with whom Martin produced the hit BBC7 comedy show, Pleased To Meet You.
Until April 26th 2007, Martin presented the Saturday night programme on BBC Radios Leeds and Sheffield, including long-term and very funny fixture on the show Edouard LaPaglie. Martin also co-presented the Monday - Friday teatime show on Radio Leeds with Julie Langford. Edouard and Martin can now be heard on the Piss Poor Podcast.
Other staions Martin has worked for include Thames Valley FM, Pennine Radio, BBC Five Live, Talksport, BBC7, and Radio Manchester. Pleased To Meet You was nominated for a 2007 Sony award.
Martin's journalistic work includes a weekly column for The Guardian, Screen Break, taking a less than serious look at the world of sport on TV. He writes occasional travel pieces for The Mail On Sunday, and has written for The Independent, of which his smarter brother Simon is executive editor (how does he get those gigs then?)
Other publications he has written for include GQ, Men's Health, Later (now defunct), the Observer, You magazine, and, bizarrely, Public Servant, the journal of top people in local and national government.
He is the author of a not exactly best-selling book called When Will I Be Famous, a journey around the outer suburbs of the entertainment industry. ..: