Martin Kelner Martin KELNER.com
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author and Radio Presenter.
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Kelners Blog

My Celebrity Death Match
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "winning" Kelner on Dec 20, 2015 - 8:00:36 AM
RIP Jimmy Hill.  Mixed feelings.
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A message to Philip Balmforth
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "condensed milk" Kelner on Apr 10, 2014 - 9:25:25 PM
I got the following message via this web site from one Philip Balmforth:  


"As a Radio Leeds listener, Where are you? you are missing from Radio Leeds and have not updated your 'blog' for ages"


As this Balmforth seems to be taking my absence somewhat personally, and has bravely identified himself as a Radio Leeds listener, I feel the least I can do is respond....

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Being Mistaken for one of the more famous Kel(l)ners
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "No job too small" Kelner on Mar 9, 2014 - 6:51:48 PM
Here's a piece from the Racing Post, March 4th., 2014, about how I backed a 28-1 winner, and how I was mistaken for someone much cleverer and more famous....
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Keep It Light
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "Knobbly Tits" Kelner on Oct 9, 2013 - 2:51:54 PM
Some of you, I feel, read these blogs in search of light - or sometimes quite dark - entertainment.  Others - and bless both of you - are genuinely interested in my brave fight against life-threatening illness.

I shall try and satisfy both audiences or, as Katharine Viner, deputy editor of The Guardian, put it in a lecture in Melbourne, "the people formerly known as the audience...."

So PFKATA, read on...


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Pissing Blood
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "anal daffodils" Kelner on Sep 18, 2013 - 10:21:48 AM
...one of the truly great 1970s punk bands, peerless exponents of psycho-garage punkabilly...
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Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
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 Martin Writes..
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 Managers - What Are They Like? Why Antonio Conte is not Ange Postecoglou
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 My Celebrity Death Match
 A message to Philip Balmforth
 Travel
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
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 NEW - The Kelner Mart
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 Stalkers Guide
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 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
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 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at Amazon.co.uk
 Accidental Heroes
 PG Wodehouse
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 My half-arsed attempt at in-play betting
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 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
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 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
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