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How Long Before Michael McIntyre is Prime Minister?
By Martin "Can I be your press secretary?" Kelner on Feb 2, 2011 - 1:30:08 PM

I know the big bucks do not last for ever for comedians, and so I fully understand the urge to cash in while the stock is high, but the fact that Bill Hicks's dictum, about comedians "checking their credibility at the door" when they do commercials, has been so comprehensively screwed up, stamped upon, and jammed down the back of the recycling bin is a little disappointing. 

Let's leave the whole "sucker of Satan's cock" argument out of it. 

But Chris Addison, one of the very best stand-ups of recent years, and brilliant in The Thick Of It and In The Loop, I know they must have stuffed every last orifice in your body with money to do that insurance ad, but given the oh-so right-on stuff you do on Five Live, should you really be hawking insurance, in what, to be honest, is not a very funny ad? 

If Satan is to get a blow job out of this deal, better he gets it from Peter Kay, who makes sure the ads he does tie in with his general schtick. And, whatever you think of Kay (I'm a fan, although I like Vic Reeves's piss-take, too), his John Smiths ads are fine comic performances.

It is because I am an admirer of people like Chris Addison that I wish they spent less time in the back of a taxi being ferried between Soho ad agencies and television studios for lame discussion shows, and more time doing their actual job - which is thinking up funny shit, so we don't have to.

Just think, if somebody decided dry cleaners, for instance, were the best people to advertise comparison web-sites and discuss the Government's economic policy on Question Time, there would no longer be a nicely-pressed jacket in the nation.  Worth thinking about.

Look, I'll go easy on the ad thing - apart from Omid Djalili and John Prescott which sucks on too many levels - because it is a bit of a cliche to knock it, and it's an awful lot of money for very little work, and I would take it (I should probably advertise crack cocaine on CBeebies if the money was right, but we're not talking about me).  

So forget the ads, but promise, no more comedians on Question Time. Please. If you are offered it, turn it down.  Say the only way you will talk about the Middle East is if you are allowed to swear and do all your killer Benyamin Netanyahu material.

The one comedian I would exempt from the above strictures is Paddy McGuinness (who I believe is sadly not in immediate danger of appearing on Question Time).  I would love Paddy to bring some of the joie de vivre of Take Me Out into the arena of political discussion, particularly some of his hilarious catchphrases like "Let the wig see the wam" and "No likee, no lightee," with its vague echoes of Benny Hill's Chinese character.  See, in Benny's day, nobody was asking him to turn up in TV studios at 9 in the morning to slag off the Daily Mail.

And so to the logical conclusion of all this: Michael McIntyre for Prime Minister.  Why not?  He's middle class, he has nice hair, some pertinent things to say about the seasonings at the back of the cupboard, and everybody bar a few bitter rival comics loves him.  I can see him skipping into Number Ten now.
 

 





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