In the
mid-1980s Gerald Sinstadt returned to the BBC, and may be able to
claim some
credit for the groundbreaking coverage of the 1990 World
Cup.
Like
Bough, his career imploded after unnecessary newspaper coverage
of an incident
in a cinema in Islington, where films slightly – but only
slightly – more
racy than those you might see in the local multiplex were
being shown. A
police raid caught Sinstadt relaxing in the gentleman’s
fashion,
offending no one as far as one can tell, and charges were dropped.
But the damage
was done. In the Independent William Hartston wrote a
brilliantly
sarcastic open letter to Islington police: ‘As we lie in our beds
and listen to
the tinkling of smashed quarter-lights, as we try to ignore the
ringing of car
and house alarms, we can at least reassure ourselves that the
porn cinemas of
Islington are being kept safe for our children.’
Does it always
end like this? Well no, but often enough to give
the living-in-a-Travelodge-by-the-ring-road
scenario created by Steve
Coogan for the
Alan Partridge character the ring of truth.
Des Lynam had
his moment under a cloud during the 1998 World
Cup, when he
entertained a female neighbour to a night in a Paris hotel.
Not just any
hotel, but a ‘£200-a-night’ hotel, according to the Sun.
The hotel’s
nightly rate might not seem particularly significant in this
matter to you
or me, but is hugely important to newspapers. One of the
first stories I
covered, as Chepstow district reporter for the Western Daily
Press, was one
I got through personal contacts, about four boys caught
smoking
cannabis and suspended from Monmouth School. I thought I
had done a
bang-up job getting the story, and covering it rather comprehensively
and went to the
pub to celebrate, only to receive a phone call
from the news
editor later that night cavilling at my failure to mention
how much the
school fees were.
It was not a mistake I made again. Even
if I was
reporting on one of Nationwide’s skateboarding ducks I made
sure I got the
age of both the owner and the duck, and if possible the
up-to-date
market value of the owner’s house.
Another
important issue in a kiss-and-tell story is frequency of sexual
intercourse. In
real life, sex can be satisfactory, quite enjoyable, mildly
disappointing,
routine, infrequent, non-existent, fairly diverting, or any
variant, but in
tabloid-world there is no room for such shades of grey. The
love-rat in
question is either ‘a flop between the sheets’ or a ‘six-timesa-
night’ man.
It’s the law. Des was fortunate enough to be placed in the
latter
category. The publicist Max Clifford, who speaks fluent tabloid, said,
‘Des has been
scoring at home and away’, which frankly shocked no one as
we always
thought of Des as the Leslie Phillips of sport. Ding-dong.
Not that his
love romps, as Max would undoubtedly dub Des’s indiscretions,
seemed to
affect his popularity. Des merely shrugged, admitted
to a ‘serious
error of judgement’ – or six serious errors of judgement a
night over two
years if the Sun is to be believed – and carried on with
his career.
In my view,
there has never been a better front man for BBC Sport than
Des Lynam, and
there is a very good reason why his career failed to flourish
when he
defected to ITV in 2000. The tone of the BBC suited Des.
You are not
trying to sell anything on the BBC, other than the excellence
and the
immutability of the organisation. On ITV you are flogging the
stuff in the
commercials, on Sky you are shifting subscriptions, working
yourself up
into a lather over the unmissable quality of the programme so
people will
sign up, but on the BBC, all you have to do is what Lord Reith
prescribed all
those years ago: educate, entertain and inform.
If anything,
the emphasis at the BBC is on underselling. All that stuff
Wogan used to
do on the radio, about the awful BBC coffee, the mild
jibes at
management, the jokes about the dodgy weather forecasts, and
the jocular
deconstruction of the business of broadcasting, does not
work on
commercial radio – I know, having worked for both – and the
same is true of
TV.
On ITV, Des
would never have got away with his downbeat intros.
When England
played Tunisia in a midweek afternoon match at the World
Cup in France
’98, our hero kicked off the BBC coverage with a knowing
wink, asking,
‘Shouldn’t you be at work?’ After the hard sell in the
commercial
break, and the sponsors’ bumper (the name check the sponsor
gets each side
of the ad-break), such underplaying would seem odd. Similarly
masterful was
Des’s intro to the unforgettable Euro ’96 semi-final
between England
and Germany at Wembley. It was a midweek match, a
working day
when work took second place to waiting for the kick off.
I remember
suffering PMT (pre-match tension) all day, and Des’s welcome
cleverly defusing
the situation. ‘Some of you may have heard there’s a
football match
on tonight,’ he said with his trademark nudge, nudge.
By Euro 2000,
Des had moved to ITV, citing frustration with the
constant moving
of Match of the Day to a late-night slot, and the BBC’s
apparent lack
of interest, during the era of John Birt (twelfth director
general,
1992–2000) in securing important sports rights, especially to big
football
matches. I was at the BBC on and off during the 1990s, working
for Radio Two
and local radio. Though I didn’t feel obliged to read all the
edicts
emanating from Birt’s office, preferring to catch up with them after
they had been
leaked to Private Eye, I got the impression that the ‘entertain’
element of
Reith’s famous dictum was taking a back seat. Flannelled
fools and
muddied oafs were clearly not right at the top of Birt’s agenda.