Martin Kelner Martin KELNER.com
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author, Podcaster and Radio Presenter.
Stats since 28 08 2006:
    Search for in  


 


Parky got off lightly
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "I'll have a P please Bob" Kelner on Aug 7, 2011 - 5:22:50 PM

On BBC Five Live's Fighting Talk on Saturday Aug 6th, I launched into a coruscating attack on revered chat show host Michael Parkinson, but because of time issues, to the disappointment of the nation I was cut short.  In response to more than no tweets asking for the completion of the Any Other Business rant, here it is...... 
more - >



The Kershaw Files
Bits and Pieces
Posted by Martin "star-spotter" Kelner on Jul 17, 2011 - 2:50:39 PM

If you have read a newspaper or magazine, or listened to a radio show lately, you cannot have missed the sight and sounds of Andy Kershaw talking about his book, No Off Switch

Sadly, what much of the publicity has failed to notice is that Andy is a very funny man, and the book is hilarious.  Click now for "funny" Andy in conversation...
more - >



Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
When Will I Be Famous?
Posted by Martin Kelner on Jul 11, 2011 - 1:40:00 PM

Far be it from me to rehash old stuff, but I promised both listeners to the Radio Leeds breakfast show the favourite headline of my occasional co-presenter Jules, from her days as a journalist in Leicester. 

A story about a local pensioner who was victim of a street robbery, in which she was pushed to the ground as the thief grabbed her handbag was headlined in the Leicester Mercury:

Melton Pensioner Injured In Snatch

It made me titter, but a little too saucy for Radio Leeds listeners apparently, so we substituted it with a Manchester Evening News headline:

Commuters Hit By Cancelled Trains

Anyway, while we're at it, here's some more stuff about Leicester that failed to make the cut in my not-quite-best-selling book, When Will I Be Famous?

Read on......
more - >



Why I am not now in Hollywood by a swimming pool taking drugs
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Mr TV" Kelner on May 24, 2011 - 3:55:08 PM

The story of how I nearly co-produced a television programme for Gary Wilmot.. From a Guardian Screen Break column of around two years ago....
more - >



Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
Martin's Photo Album
Posted by Martin "What's wrong with going out of the window" Kelner on May 13, 2011 - 9:03:23 AM

What is funnier? The sign, or the fact that Chris went to the trouble of stealing the sign?
more - >



The Beatles - More Exotic Than Ever
Bits and Pieces
Posted by Martin "Don't make it bad.." Kelner on Mar 30, 2011 - 6:33:22 PM


Exciting news for fans of Beatle covers - and who isn't? - is the release of Exotic Beatles 4, the weirdest collection yet of Lennon, McCartney, and Harrison songs, compiled by Jim Phelan, one of Britain's finest pop archaeologists, who has made the uncovering of Beatle-related curiosities his life's work...

Phelan, designer of many a fine album cover for Cherry Red, has a pop artist's instinct for marrying strange and very wonderful music to actuality of The Beatles themselves, and some of the madness surrounding the boys especially in the U.S.

Click, click, click for examples...
more - >



Proof Positive that East Coast Just Doesn't Get It
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "Oven Gloves" Kelner on Mar 26, 2011 - 5:35:48 PM

O.K., we have just about got used to the wacky fare structure on the East Coast main line, meaning the cost of a similar seat might vary from 30 quid to 140-odd depending on how far in advance you book your seat, the colour of your hair, your wheat tolerance and so on, but why is it necessary to have a two-tier system for the very simple concept of Weekend First?

For those of you unfamiliar with Weekend First, it enables those of us peasants unable to afford more than the paltry 88 or hundred-odd quid it costs to travel to London in what is laughingly called standard class to upgrade for a payment to the guard. 

Thus - at the weekend only, of course - we can make our journey in a decent, comfortable seat with a nearly fully functioning toilet in easy reach; you know, the kind of things taken for granted on railways all over Europe, including Poland interestingly... a little treat for us, a chance to sample how the other half lives - for the weekend only...
more - >



Woof woof - Clare goes to Crufts
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Not allowed on the couch" Kelner on Feb 16, 2011 - 5:26:53 PM

Here's a piece from the Screen Break back catalogue from less than a year ago, retrieved in response to Guardian Sport supremo Ian Prior's tweet saying this piece in the New York Times is the most inappropriate feature ever to appear in a sports section.

Afraid not, Ian.  Your very own newspaper beat the mighty New York Times to it with this back-page piece from March 2010
more - >



<< prev page    next page >>


Send a message direct to Martin Kelner :
Your Name:

Your e-mail address: (valid e-mail address only accepted)

Your Message:

NOTE: You may be asked to confirm your input is genuine on the next page,
this is to prevent automated entries and porno hawking spam monkeys abusing this form.


Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
 The Real King's Speech
 A Christmas Gift To You....
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Payday loans - short term loans for small amounts
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Kelners Blog
 Parky got off lightly
 Mike Parry - Gone But Never Forgotten
 Martins Newsletter
 Sign up for the Martin Kelner Newsletter
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 Contact Martin by email....
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
 "My swan was expressing pus..."
 Screen Break
 Why I am not now in Hollywood by a swimming pool taking drugs
 Woof woof - Clare goes to Crufts
 Accidental Heroes
 Martin visits the jewel of the Essex coast, Frinton - and finds Freddie "Mr Parrot Face" Davies
 PG Wodehouse
 All our Yesterdays
 War of the Shock Jocks
 The genius of Peter Cook
 Bits and Pieces
 The Kershaw Files
 The Beatles - More Exotic Than Ever
 When Will I Be Famous?
 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 Martin's Photo Album
 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
 Something for the weekend
 Martin's Links
 Smashing time
 Martin Kelner's website links
 Travel
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Writes..
 Proof Positive that East Coast Just Doesn't Get It
 The Fifth Beatle....

admin