Martin Kelner Martin KELNER.com
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author, Podcaster and Radio Presenter.
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Screen Break - Number 3
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "you tease" Kelner on Mar 6, 2016 - 5:09:18 PM

This week's column is written, but we're trying a few different things in order that as many of you as possible can get to read Screen Break, & this week's column - about Steve McClaren, & Jermaine Jenas's appearance on Question Time - will be published tomorrow morning (Mon March 7th.) on Sportingintelligence.com. 

Meanwhile, here's the first 100 words as a taster....
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Screen Break - Number 2
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Screen Break for free, gawd help us" Kelner on Feb 29, 2016 - 8:48:50 PM

The joy of Screen Break being an internet only feature is that I can write one whenever I feel like it.  The downside is I don't get paid for the bugger.

But what the hell, here's another one.  Sort of about Manchester United - Arsenal, Sunday February 28, 2016...
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Screen Break is back!
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "thank you Gary Newbon" Kelner on Feb 27, 2016 - 4:50:50 PM

Here it is, brand new.  An entirely new Screen Break column, of the type much loved by those who liked it in the Guardian, and later the Racing Post, and largely ignored by everyone else.

Tuck in, and do let me know what you think, because the future of this project depends on the level of interest.
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My Celebrity Death Match
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "winning" Kelner on Dec 20, 2015 - 8:00:36 AM

RIP Jimmy Hill.  Mixed feelings.
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Jeremy Corbyn's Desert Island Discs
Bits and Pieces
Posted by Martin "pop pickin'" Kelner on Oct 10, 2015 - 8:31:11 AM

Discussions are already underway on Jeremy Corbyn's eight tunes to share with Kirsty.  Here are some suggestions....
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Reinventing Yesterday
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "channel flipper" Kelner on May 31, 2015 - 3:56:13 PM

Here's Mail On Sunday piece on the F.A.Cup build-up on the BBC....
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God's Waiting Room
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "better now, thanks" Kelner on May 4, 2015 - 3:16:53 PM

I'm almost completely recovered now after surgery to remove what we doctors call 'a big fuck-off abdominal sarcoma,' thanks to the skill of the consultants, and the brilliant care of the NHS, for which I shall forever be grateful...

However, in the early days of this shit storm, as the sarcoma grew, & following a pretty gloomy prognosis, misfortune piled upon misfortune.  First my car was stolen, then a pen burst in my pocket. 

That might seem trivial, but it convinced me that some higher power - which I don't believe in anyway - was fucking with my head. 

I wrote a few pieces charting progress while I was convalescing following what turned out to be successful surgery, which you can find on here somewhere, but  in the vain hope that anybody's the slightest bit interested, here are  a couple of bits I never published....


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Saturday Night Frank
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Super" Kelner on Apr 26, 2015 - 10:06:03 AM

It's just possible I may return to writing a regular column about sport on TV, on the lines of the one I used to write which was much loved by Guardian readers, and largely ignored by Racing Post readers.

Whether this becomes a regular thing depends on two key questions...

(a) if I can be arsed

(b) if I can find a way to monetize it

Meanwhile, have this one for free.  It's about ITV's new "super" Saturday...
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Screen Break extra - BBC v ITV on Sat April 18, 2015
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "channel flipper in hand" Kelner on Apr 20, 2015 - 5:18:17 PM

I don't often get to write about sport on TV these days, but on Sat April 18, I got an email from the Mail On Sunday to ask if I would watch the two matches on TV that evening and write about the battle between the BBC, showing the FA Cup tie, and Sky, which had the Chelsea - Man U Premier League match.

Because of the very tight deadline, it was butchered somewhat to fit the space.  Entirely understandable, but the result was that the one decent joke in the piece got lost.  See if you can spot it....
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Just a bit of fun! No really, just a bit of fun!
Bits and Pieces
Posted by Martin "there goes the MBE" Kelner on Jan 19, 2015 - 8:27:00 PM

It's the game the whole family can play. 

The following statements are indefensible.  Why not give yourself 20 seconds at home and see if you can defend them.

(oh, by the way, it's just a bit of fun) 
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Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
 Fine dining for the last time on the PPP!
 Wossy ate my podcast - an explanation
 Screen Break
 The Bus Pass Bodybuilders & Motty's Giant Sentence
 Wordy Rappinghood
 Bits and Pieces
 Jeremy Corbyn's Desert Island Discs
 Just a bit of fun! No really, just a bit of fun!
 Martin Writes..
 A little bit about me & Kingswood, Bristol
 Managers - What Are They Like? Why Antonio Conte is not Ange Postecoglou
 Kelners Blog
 My Celebrity Death Match
 A message to Philip Balmforth
 Travel
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 The Verve - arentcha sick to death of it?
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 Keeping the meters wobbling......
 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at Amazon.co.uk
 Accidental Heroes
 PG Wodehouse
 Bette Davis
 All our Yesterdays
 The Enduring Delight of the Radio Show That Keeps On Giving
 My half-arsed attempt at in-play betting
 When Will I Be Famous?
 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 Martin's Photo Album
 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
 Something for the weekend
 Martin's Links
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