Martin Kelner Martin KELNER.com
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author and Radio Presenter.
Stats since 28 08 2006:

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Martin Writes..

The Story of the Piss Poor Podcast
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "304 and still going" Kelner on Jun 26, 2017 - 3:05:17 PM
Who would have thought that the self-confessed Piss Poor Podcast would become the world's longest running semi-humorous Internet resource?

To find out how and why, read on.....
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Hurrah, I'm an entrepreneur
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "hawking his wares" Kelner on Jun 22, 2016 - 4:14:44 PM
....and it's all thanks to the BBC.
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My Sacking - the backsplash
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "Opportunities (let's make lots of money) as my good friends The Pet Shop Boys used to say" Kelner on Mar 24, 2016 - 5:06:08 PM
There has been a fair bit of reaction to my departure from BBC Radio Leeds......
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My Sacking, and a Plausible Plan for BBC Local Radio
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "write if you find work" Kelner on Mar 20, 2016 - 9:50:27 PM
In response to hundreds of requests from one or two people, here's how I left BBC Radio Leeds two days ago, and how the BBC's failing local radio service can be saved...
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God's Waiting Room
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "better now, thanks" Kelner on May 4, 2015 - 3:16:53 PM
I'm almost completely recovered now after surgery to remove what we doctors call 'a big fuck-off abdominal sarcoma,' thanks to the skill of the consultants, and the brilliant care of the NHS, for which I shall forever be grateful...

However, in the early days of this shit storm, as the sarcoma grew, & following a pretty gloomy prognosis, misfortune piled upon misfortune.  First my car was stolen, then a pen burst in my pocket. 

That might seem trivial, but it convinced me that some higher power - which I don't believe in anyway - was fucking with my head. 

I wrote a few pieces charting progress while I was convalescing following what turned out to be successful surgery, which you can find on here somewhere, but  in the vain hope that anybody's the slightest bit interested, here are  a couple of bits I never published....


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The better's dilemma
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "Inveterate loser" Kelner on Dec 20, 2014 - 10:43:39 AM
Here's a column for the Racing Post, where I pondered how one should react when a horse falls in a race in which you have a financial interest, & shared a variety of losing bets with the readers....
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Liverpool - the glory, glory days
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "Calm down" Kelner on Nov 13, 2014 - 6:29:07 PM
My sport-on-TV column appears in the Racing Post every Saturday.  Here's a recent one - about Liverpool in happier times...
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The joy of the Rugby League Cup Final
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "ee, put some more coal in t'bath" Kelner on Sep 21, 2014 - 7:18:43 PM
Here's a piece I wrote earlier this year for the highly posh and prestigious Club Wembley journal about the Great Northern Day Out.....
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15 minutes of fame
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "looking for Norfolk's youngest butcher" Kelner on Sep 19, 2014 - 11:00:07 AM
Actually, slightly more than 15.  Read on.....
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Worst sports show on TV ever?
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "I thought it was the Toon army" Kelner on Aug 3, 2014 - 10:33:24 PM
Not sure that question mark is needed really.  Clare Balding's show, I suspect, has been dropped from the BT Sport schedule, but here's a flavour in case you missed it...
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Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
 Are You Eligible For A Refund of PPI? If so, why not splash it out on PPP?
 The day we said to TV Personality and celebrity trougher Jay Rayner, "Whoah there Jay, get over yourself"
 Screen Break
 The rise and rise of football - the history of it.
 The Pitch-Side Pantomime
 Bits and Pieces
 Want To Be A Radio Star?
 Jeremy Corbyn's Desert Island Discs
 Martin Writes..
 The Story of the Piss Poor Podcast
 Hurrah, I'm an entrepreneur
 Kelners Blog
 My Sacking, and a Plausible Plan for BBC Local Radio
 My Celebrity Death Match
 Travel
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 The Verve - arentcha sick to death of it?
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 Keeping the meters wobbling......
 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at Amazon.co.uk
 Accidental Heroes
 PG Wodehouse
 Bette Davis
 All our Yesterdays
 The Enduring Delight of the Radio Show That Keeps On Giving
 My half-arsed attempt at in-play betting
 When Will I Be Famous?
 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 Martin's Photo Album
 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
 Something for the weekend
 Martin's Links
 Smashing time
 Martin Kelner's website links