Martin Kelner Martin
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author, Podcaster and Radio Presenter.
Stats since 28 08 2006:
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Why Wrestling In Honey?
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "Old Tat" Kelner on Apr 23, 2021 - 4:57:51 PM

(Here I am in the outer suburbs of the Sky remote, attempting to provide fun for the aging Guardian audience in the only way I know how.   All you need to know is the nation at the time was dealing with the scandal of comedian Russell Brand's unpleasant prank telephone calls to the much loved Fawlty Towers legend Andrew Sachs.)

Honey, Fighting and the Disturbing Topic of My Libido, The Guardian November 3, 2008


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The Glory of Eurovision
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin Kelner on Mar 10, 2021 - 3:24:48 PM

With Eurovision on the way, here's a piece I wrote for the Racing Post about ten years ago, to help deluded punters who fancied a bet on the contest.  Most of the points I make actually still apply.  I'm a patriotic punter and have backed the UK's Mae Muller to win at 28-1.  A collection of some of my old tat will be released in book form this Spring (2023), but this piece failed to make the cut....
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Back in 2009, we were hoping Andy Murray would solve the economic crisis
Screen Break
Posted by Martin Kelner on Sep 23, 2020 - 7:01:04 PM

Andy Murray fails to reach Wimbledon final, sending the British economy into a tailspin, Guardian Screen Break, July 6, 2009

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Best In Show
Martin Writes..

The joy of dogs.  Crufts.
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We're All Going To Die
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin Kelner on Mar 15, 2020 - 6:40:05 PM

Every month I write a column for the half-decent rugby league magazine 40-20, not necessarily about rugby league, but just to amuse me & one or two other followers of the fine sport.  I've been doing this for a few years now, but don't usually post them because, as I say they're very much just for amusement only.  But I thought this was rather prescient.  Written on March 3rd, I exclusively revealed that we're all going to die...
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The rise and rise of football - the history of it.
Screen Break
Posted by Martin Kelner on Mar 18, 2019 - 2:06:09 PM

Here's a bit about how football replaced cricket as the national game in Great Britain.
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PG Wodehouse
Accidental Heroes
Posted by Martin "Drones Club" Kelner on Aug 21, 2017 - 1:12:00 PM

For some of us, the invention of the name Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright might serve as a lifetime's achievment..... more - >

Bette Davis
Accidental Heroes
Posted by Martin Kelner on Jun 27, 2017 - 1:17:00 PM

In the late fifties, when her career was on the wane, Bette Davis took a full-page ad in the Hollywood trade papers..... more - >

Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
 Fine dining for the last time on the PPP!
 Wossy ate my podcast - an explanation
 Screen Break
 The Bus Pass Bodybuilders & Motty's Giant Sentence
 Wordy Rappinghood
 Bits and Pieces
 Jeremy Corbyn's Desert Island Discs
 Just a bit of fun! No really, just a bit of fun!
 Martin Writes..
 A little bit about me & Kingswood, Bristol
 Managers - What Are They Like? Why Antonio Conte is not Ange Postecoglou
 Kelners Blog
 My Celebrity Death Match
 A message to Philip Balmforth
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 The Verve - arentcha sick to death of it?
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 Keeping the meters wobbling......
 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at
 Accidental Heroes
 PG Wodehouse
 Bette Davis
 All our Yesterdays
 The Enduring Delight of the Radio Show That Keeps On Giving
 My half-arsed attempt at in-play betting
 When Will I Be Famous?
 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 Martin's Photo Album
 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
 Something for the weekend
 Martin's Links
 Smashing time
 Martin Kelner's website links