I have also refused all radio bookings for the next fortnight and will be temporarily abandoning my family, so I can write morning, noon, and night. 

I even turned down an appearance on Fighting Talk, causing several members of the production team to faint in shock, and almost destroying my reputation as Britain's most reliable media whore.

One thing I would ask of truly dedicated stalkers is to see if the Guardian put a "Martin Kelner is away" line in at the end of Screen Break, and tell them off if they don't.  Marina Hyde always gets one, and Harry Pearson, but I never do, leading keen readers (both of them) to the very plausible explanation that I have been sacked.  So tell 'em.  I know I do, but it never does any good.

Hasta La Vista, baby.