Martin Kelner Martin
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author, Podcaster and Radio Presenter.
Stats since 28 08 2006:
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We're All Going To Die
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin Kelner on Mar 15, 2020 - 6:40:05 PM

Every month I write a column for the half-decent rugby league magazine 40-20, not necessarily about rugby league, but just to amuse me & one or two other followers of the fine sport.  I've been doing this for a few years now, but don't usually post them because, as I say they're very much just for amusement only.  But I thought this was rather prescient.  Written on March 3rd, I exclusively revealed that we're all going to die...
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The rise and rise of football - the history of it.
Screen Break
Posted by Martin Kelner on Mar 18, 2019 - 2:06:09 PM

Here's a bit about how football replaced cricket as the national game in Great Britain.
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PG Wodehouse
Accidental Heroes
Posted by Martin "Drones Club" Kelner on Aug 21, 2017 - 1:12:00 PM

For some of us, the invention of the name Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright might serve as a lifetime's achievment..... more - >

Bette Davis
Accidental Heroes
Posted by Martin Kelner on Jun 27, 2017 - 1:17:00 PM

In the late fifties, when her career was on the wane, Bette Davis took a full-page ad in the Hollywood trade papers..... more - >

Luis Bunuel
Accidental Heroes
Posted by Martin Kelner on Jun 27, 2017 - 1:15:00 PM

It isn't every internationally renowned film director that has the formula for the perfect dry martini..... more - >

The Story of the Piss Poor Podcast
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "304 and still going" Kelner on Jun 26, 2017 - 3:05:17 PM

Who would have thought that the self-confessed Piss Poor Podcast would become the world's longest running semi-humorous Internet resource?

To find out how and why, read on.....
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The Pitch-Side Pantomime
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Is this a dagger I see before me?" Kelner on Sep 11, 2016 - 9:13:59 PM

Screen Break continues, with no sponsor for the time being.  Please get in touch if you want to be associated with this venerable feature in sports journalism.  I can be reached at or via this website. 

Meanwhile, enjoy....
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What Are You Playing At Gary Neville?
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "I like it runny" Kelner on Aug 28, 2016 - 7:24:37 PM

Here's the brand new Screen Break column, which will temporarily appear here. is on hold for a while for personal reasons.  We wish Nick & all at the site the very best. 

Our sponsorship from the UK Concrete Show is over too, and we couldn't be more grateful to Steve and the concrete folk for their support. 

It means a new era for Screen Break.  We are now looking for a new sponsor.  We can include your branding all over the damn thing for surprisingly little cost.  And we're also open to suggestions from anyone who has a good-looking sport/media website who would be interested in hosting the column.

Your deal would be that you would get free content, a feature that was hugely popular for 15 years or so in The Guardian (I liked it anyway), provided I could find sponsorship and you were able to include the branding, and turn the column round pretty quickly on a Sunday night/Monday morning.

If you're interested in either of these opportunities, you can contact me at or via the website. 

Today's column covers the BBC show Class of '92 - Still Out of their League.
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Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
 Are You Eligible For A Refund of PPI? If so, why not splash it out on PPP?
 The day we said to TV Personality and celebrity trougher Jay Rayner, "Whoah there Jay, get over yourself"
 Screen Break
 The rise and rise of football - the history of it.
 The Pitch-Side Pantomime
 Bits and Pieces
 Want To Be A Radio Star?
 Jeremy Corbyn's Desert Island Discs
 Martin Writes..
 We're All Going To Die
 The Story of the Piss Poor Podcast
 Kelners Blog
 My Sacking, and a Plausible Plan for BBC Local Radio
 My Celebrity Death Match
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 The Verve - arentcha sick to death of it?
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 Keeping the meters wobbling......
 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at
 Accidental Heroes
 PG Wodehouse
 Bette Davis
 All our Yesterdays
 The Enduring Delight of the Radio Show That Keeps On Giving
 My half-arsed attempt at in-play betting
 When Will I Be Famous?
 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 Martin's Photo Album
 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
 Something for the weekend
 Martin's Links
 Smashing time
 Martin Kelner's website links