Martin Kelner Martin
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author, Podcaster and Radio Presenter.
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The Pitch-Side Pantomime
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Is this a dagger I see before me?" Kelner on Sep 11, 2016 - 9:13:59 PM

Screen Break continues, with no sponsor for the time being.  Please get in touch if you want to be associated with this venerable feature in sports journalism.  I can be reached at or via this website. 

Meanwhile, enjoy....
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What Are You Playing At Gary Neville?
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "I like it runny" Kelner on Aug 28, 2016 - 7:24:37 PM

Here's the brand new Screen Break column, which will temporarily appear here. is on hold for a while for personal reasons.  We wish Nick & all at the site the very best. 

Our sponsorship from the UK Concrete Show is over too, and we couldn't be more grateful to Steve and the concrete folk for their support. 

It means a new era for Screen Break.  We are now looking for a new sponsor.  We can include your branding all over the damn thing for surprisingly little cost.  And we're also open to suggestions from anyone who has a good-looking sport/media website who would be interested in hosting the column.

Your deal would be that you would get free content, a feature that was hugely popular for 15 years or so in The Guardian (I liked it anyway), provided I could find sponsorship and you were able to include the branding, and turn the column round pretty quickly on a Sunday night/Monday morning.

If you're interested in either of these opportunities, you can contact me at or via the website. 

Today's column covers the BBC show Class of '92 - Still Out of their League.
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Want To Be A Radio Star?
Bits and Pieces
Posted by Martin "quiz inquisitor" Kelner on Aug 9, 2016 - 6:11:00 PM

Well, 'star' is maybe pitching it a bit strong, but read on.....
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Dancing Dildos - It's Opening Ceremony time in Brazil
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "dancing dildos" Kelner on Aug 7, 2016 - 10:48:19 PM

Here's Screen Break on the Olympic opening ceremony.  It's just a taster.  Full article here 10am, Monday August 8...
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Mary v Zola at the 1984 Olympics
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "Mr Concrete" Kelner on Jul 31, 2016 - 9:04:22 PM

Here's a taster of the latest Screen Break, on The Fall, documentary on Sky Atlantic about the Zola Budd - Mary Decker clash at the 1984 Olympics.....
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Screen Break on a weekend when everything was on Sky
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "protein shakes" Kelner on Jul 17, 2016 - 6:23:55 PM

Here's the first couple of hundred words of Screen Break, published Mon July 18th at, in association with the UK Concrete Show...
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England, What Went Wrong, and Those Damned Germans
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "boyo" Kelner on Jul 3, 2016 - 4:11:17 PM

Here's brand new Screen Break, published at at 10am, Mon July 4th., 2016
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What's the point of second and third bananas in the commentary box?
Screen Break
Posted by Martin "second banana" Kelner on Jun 26, 2016 - 9:30:11 PM

Here's a taster of tomorrow's Screen Break (June 27), available from 10am here
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Latest Additions..

 P P Podcast
 Are You Eligible For A Refund of PPI? If so, why not splash it out on PPP?
 Is this the end of Rico?
 Screen Break
 The Pitch-Side Pantomime
 What Are You Playing At Gary Neville?
 Bits and Pieces
 Want To Be A Radio Star?
 Jeremy Corbyn's Desert Island Discs
 Martin Writes..
 Hurrah, I'm an entrepreneur
 My Sacking - the backsplash
 Kelners Blog
 My Sacking, and a Plausible Plan for BBC Local Radio
 My Celebrity Death Match
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 The Verve - arentcha sick to death of it?
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 Keeping the meters wobbling......
 Sweary Christmas to all our readers
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at
 Accidental Heroes
 Martin visits the jewel of the Essex coast, Frinton - and finds Freddie "Mr Parrot Face" Davies
 PG Wodehouse
 All our Yesterdays
 The Enduring Delight of the Radio Show That Keeps On Giving
 My half-arsed attempt at in-play betting
 When Will I Be Famous?
 Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 Martin's Photo Album
 Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution.
 Something for the weekend
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