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NEW - The Kelner Mart
ONLY AVAILABLE AT MARTINKELNER.COM more - > The Voice of the People - Richard Bacon's Chart The Week Kelners Blog
Chart The Week is a regular Thursday feature on Richard Bacon's award-winning afternoon show on BBC Radio Five Live (actually I'm not sure it has won an award, but if not, it can surely only be a matter of time. And anyway, what about those barely edible "award-winning" Cornish pasties you get at mainline railway stations? Anybody seen any of their so-called awards?) Award winning it is, then. Mazeltov Richard. Now read on.... more - > Parky got off lightly Kelners Blog
On BBC Five Live's Fighting Talk on Saturday Aug 6th, I launched into a coruscating attack on revered chat show host Michael Parkinson, but because of time issues, to the disappointment of the nation I was cut short. In response to more than no tweets asking for the completion of the Any Other Business rant, here it is...... more - > The Kershaw Files Bits and Pieces
If you have read a newspaper or magazine, or listened to a radio show lately, you cannot have missed the sight and sounds of Andy Kershaw talking about his book, No Off Switch Sadly, what much of the publicity has failed to notice is that Andy is a very funny man, and the book is hilarious. Click now for "funny" Andy in conversation... more - > Something about Leicester that failed to make the finished book When Will I Be Famous?
Far be it from me to rehash old stuff, but I promised both listeners to the Radio Leeds breakfast show the favourite headline of my occasional co-presenter Jules, from her days as a journalist in Leicester. A story about a local pensioner who was victim of a street robbery, in which she was pushed to the ground as the thief grabbed her handbag was headlined in the Leicester Mercury: Melton Pensioner Injured In Snatch It made me titter, but a little too saucy for Radio Leeds listeners apparently, so we substituted it with a Manchester Evening News headline: Commuters Hit By Cancelled Trains Anyway, while we're at it, here's some more stuff about Leicester that failed to make the cut in my not-quite-best-selling book, When Will I Be Famous? Read on...... more - > Why I am not now in Hollywood by a swimming pool taking drugs Screen Break
The story of how I nearly co-produced a television programme for Gary Wilmot.. From a Guardian Screen Break column of around two years ago.... more - > Fed up with stained wash basins? The solution. Martin's Photo Album
Proof Positive that East Coast Just Doesn't Get It Martin Writes..
O.K., we have just about got used to the wacky fare structure on the East Coast main line, meaning the cost of a similar seat might vary from 30 quid to 140-odd depending on how far in advance you book your seat, the colour of your hair, your wheat tolerance and so on, but why is it necessary to have a two-tier system for the very simple concept of Weekend First? For those of you unfamiliar with Weekend First, it enables those of us peasants unable to afford more than the paltry 88 or hundred-odd quid it costs to travel to London in what is laughingly called standard class to upgrade for a payment to the guard. Thus - at the weekend only, of course - we can make our journey in a decent, comfortable seat with a nearly fully functioning toilet in easy reach; you know, the kind of things taken for granted on railways all over Europe, including Poland interestingly... a little treat for us, a chance to sample how the other half lives - for the weekend only... more - >
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