Martin Kelner Martin KELNER.com
Martin Kelner, Journalist, Author, Podcaster and Radio Presenter.
Stats since 28 Aug 2006:
    Search for in  


Move over TMZ.com - the hottest celebrity gossip on the planet comes from PPP 166!
Piss Poor Podcast
Posted by Martin "scoop" Kelner and Edouard "hold the front page, I know I do" LaPaglie on Jul 1, 2009 - 4:11:07 PM

Yes, ahead of the crowd once again, leaving the rest of the media trailing in its wake, Martin and Edouard's PPP reports the tragic deaths of Jeremy Paxman, Bob Holness, Jeffrey Archer, and Nicky Heyward out of Haircut 100 - in some cases 20 or 30 years before the event! Talk about scoop!

It's the only way to keep up to date with the gossip. Subscribe now or remain forever in a world of darkness. Information is paramount in today's blah blah yada yada yada, so make sure you don't miss out.. The PPP - it's firstest, fastest, and something else beginning with 'f'
more - >



It's the Andy Murray - Michael Jackson memorial benefit gig at Leeds's fabulous Verve bar, Tues June 30th
Stalkers Guide
Posted by Martin "new balls please" Kelner on Jun 30, 2009 - 12:17:57 PM

Yes, if you have had it up to here with journos and BBC types sharing their tedious Glastonbury experiences and mind-numbing Michael Jackson pensees, why not hie yourself down to the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds for 8pm, for a real thriller - as four slackers who have absolutely no experience of either, and have never gone five sets with a promising Croatian (if you know what I'm saying, Missus) attempt to make sense of it all!

Maybe with a few jokes
more - >



Everybody's riding on the Marrakesh Express - All aboard for PPP 165!
Piss Poor Podcast
Posted by Martin "tahini" Kelner and Edouard "fava bean" Lapaglie on Jun 25, 2009 - 3:45:16 PM

Yes, join us and recommember the days of Crosby, Stills, and Nash, the finest half-back line Leeds United ever had....

We travel to the land of Souk and Kasbah (fine music hall act) for a Festival of Frottage, pausing just briefly to sustain ourselves with a bag of old chestnuts from one of Britain's leading incontinent street traders.

Believe me, it's a hideous clash of cultures you will not want to miss. Now read on...
more - >



Here's a time saver - Encapsulated Film Reviews!
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "drink on a stick" Kelner on Jun 25, 2009 - 11:40:51 AM

Elsewhere on the site you may have read a less than enthusiastic review of The Boat That Rocked. Well, my good friend Darren Williams tells me his mate reviewed the film simply with the following words:

The Shit That Floats.

Read on for more examples

(YOUR COMMENTS AT FOOT OF BLOG)

more - >



Rockadoodle-doo-doo
Kelners Blog
Posted by Martin "poptastic" Kelner on Jun 21, 2009 - 7:49:53 PM

There are many candidates for the title of Worst Film In The Whole World. Ever. Here's my nomination.... more - >



Passed by the Beth Din - It's PPP 164, one hundred percent kosher!
Piss Poor Podcast
Posted by Martin "Milchick" Kelner and Edouard "Fleischick" Lapaglie on Jun 17, 2009 - 2:58:51 PM

Oy gewalt! Martin and Edouard use two sets of dishes (I know I do) for the latest instalment in their great project. It's the world famous kugel for our yiddisher punters, with summer pudding for the goyim.

Mmmm..get your laughing tackle round the shining plum-puce breast of sticky sweet soft sodden bread and ripe fruit.

But don't whap it on the curtains, friends.

I don't.
more - >



It's a fond farewell to David Carradine, Wayne Allwine, and Terence Alexander - on PPP 163!
Piss Poor Podcast
Posted by Martin "grim reaper" Kelner and Edouard "six feet under" LaPaglie on Jun 10, 2009 - 5:57:35 PM

All dead....and I'm not feeling too good myself, says journalist, broadcaster, and podcaster Martin "Big Boy" Kelner...

Yes, once more the PPP pays tribute to stars of stage and screen not still going..

Plus, in the sweariest podcast in living memory...we hear from happy London commuters on the day of the tube strike, and also sample the authentic voice of Glasgow...

On va dit: "One f***ing man, one f***ing vote."



Martin Kelner and Edouard Lapaglies' FREE SAMPLE EDITION [what we call the 'Schnorrers version - 10 minutes or so, just a taster] Piss Poor Podcast can be sampled on iTunes - [this link should pop open your copy of iTunes at Martins page]. Once iTunes has opened the page for you - just click the "SUBSCRIBE" button.

If you are using other software such as 'Juice' etc.to subscribe to the FREE Podcast, then this is the link you will need to copy and paste: http://www.martinkelner.com/podcast/podcast.xml

Got FLASH? - Try Martins' new FLASH MP3 Player below for a 10 minute sample of the full podcast:

CAUTION - EXPLICIT RATED CONTENT



SUBSCRIBE TO THE FULL LENGTH PISS POOR PODCAST NOW! CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS


more - >



The late great Humphrey Lyttleton
Martin Writes..
Posted by Martin "Samantha is on my right hand" Kelner on Jun 6, 2009 - 11:55:36 PM

In our ongoing series of articles about dead people, this is a piece I wrote 15 years ago in the glory, glory days of The Independent about Humphrey Lyttleton.....

The secret of Humph: He's the 'comic hero' with the perfect sense of timing. He's the 'chairman's chairman'. He's the 'top trumpet man in Britain'. Martin Kelner on the busy life of Humphrey Lyttelton


Saturday, 21 May 1994..

Now read on....
more - >



<< prev page    next page >>


Send a message direct to Martin Kelner :
Your Name:

Your e-mail address: (valid e-mail address only accepted)

Your Message:

NOTE: You may be asked to confirm your input is genuine on the next page,
this is to prevent automated entries and porno hawking spam monkeys abusing this form.

SUBSCRIBE to the PISS POOR PODCAST NOW


Latest Additions..

 Piss Poor Podcast
 Move over TMZ.com - the hottest celebrity gossip on the planet comes from PPP 166!
 Everybody's riding on the Marrakesh Express - All aboard for PPP 165!
 Martins Money Saving Tips
 Why not save a massive 50-bob on Leeds's big value comedy-style night downstairs at the Verve wine bar, Merrion Street, Leeds, next to Mojo??
 Martins Money Saving Offers - deals at Amazon.co.uk
 Kelners Blog
 Here's a time saver - Encapsulated Film Reviews!
 Rockadoodle-doo-doo
 Martins Newsletter
 Sign up for the Martin Kelner Newsletter
 Martin Kelner - The Man
 Martin Kelner - One Man and His Trousers
 Contact Martin by email....
 NEW - The Kelner Mart
 Martins Money Saving Offers at the Kelner Mart...
 Stalkers Guide
 It's the Andy Murray - Michael Jackson memorial benefit gig at Leeds's fabulous Verve bar, Tues June 30th
 Pleased To Meet You - A Chance to Listen Again!
 Screen Break
 A smacked bottom and a plate of Bourbon biscuits - just the job for Max Mosley
 Bruno - Not bonkers, but unhinged enough to do panto in Saffron Walden!
 Accidental Heroes
 Martin visits the jewel of the Essex coast, Frinton - and finds Freddie "Mr Parrot Face" Davies
 PG Wodehouse
 All our Yesterdays
 The genius of Peter Cook
 The Golden Shot
 Bits and Pieces
 An Audience With Mr Methane - The Hour Approaches!
 Culture lovers awake! An Audience With Mr Methane heralds the return of highbrow entertainment to the Edinburgh Festival.
 When Will I Be Famous?
 When Will I Be Famous - Order Now!!
 WWIBF unpugged
 Martin's Photo Album
 Something for the weekend
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin's Links
 Follow the frog on Twitter
 Martin Kelner's website links
 Travel
 Kelner learns how to be funny on stand-up comedy course!
 Martin in Minnesota - in the footsteps of Bob Dylan
 Martin Writes..
 The late great Humphrey Lyttleton
 "Hell I know how. Question is, when?"

admin